Cap and Bean comment on the new releases for the weekend the only way they know how: with little to no actual research and after only briefly looking at the posters.
by FILMGRAPHS STAFF ON October 3, 2014
Gone Girl
BEAN: It’s nice
of Fox News to set time aside for a wealthy white woman kidnapping in-between
news on the Real Housewives cast and shitting on Obama.
BEAN: There was a
time when to be given the prefix of “Amazing” you had to be a magician or a
Spider-Man or something. What did this Amy do?
CAP: She went
from Hector and the Search for Happiness
to a David Fincher movie in a matter of two weeks.
Annabelle
CAP: Finally, the
industry has developed to the point where movies no longer need a website or
even a Facebook page. Just #Annabelle.
BEAN: We joke,
but when was the last time you went to the official website of a movie? The Gone Girl official site is like the
tenth result when I looked it up on Google.
CAP: I’m not
judging. The money they saved on the website is probably enough to fund another
Brit Marling movie with another extremely awkward sex scene.
Left Behind
BEAN: Whatever
Nic Cage is looking at off-camera must be absolutely enthralling if it’s
keeping his gaze away from the city covered in hellfire behind him.
CAP: Great marketing. What else is there to say? Nothing says quality control like having Nicolas Cage
on your poster.
The Good Lie
BEAN: I’m pretty
sure at some point in the movie Reese is going to say both “The good lie” and “miracles
are made by people who refuse to stop believing”, and I wouldn’t be surprised
if she said it one after another.
CAP: She’ll also
be yelling it at some generically stuffy white lady who just doesn’t understand
why Reese is throwing it all away on her ridiculous cause.
BEAN: Queue
uplifting soft-rock single.
Poster images for Gone Girl taken from Movieposter.com.
Poster image for Annabelle, Left Behind, and The Good Lie taken from IMDB.com.
